Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Klancy's (Infamous Jak) Top 9 Least Anticipated Movies of 2014

While I'm finishing things in 2013, that doesn't mean  SC won't be getting a start in this new year. It is another year which means a another line up of films is on the way. So to start off the new year is a list of films to look forward to in 2014. Well not  from me but Klancy, also known as Infamous Jak and one of the co-host of Something Cinematic The Podcast, has a list ready.  Yet before I unveil his anticipated films, Klancy was kind enough to make a list of films he is dreading to see this year.  Perhaps I should make go and see all nine of these films. Just kidding, or am I? Anyways, without further ado, here is Klancy's Top 9 Least Anticipated films of 2014:

For the last couple years I started the New Year off by counting down my most and least anticipated films of the upcoming year. People seem to enjoy it, and since I normal don’t have good ideas for blog topics, I’m going to milk this one for all its worth. So join me, as I count down the list of films that I am dreading this year. Don’t worry; the good films are on the next list.

9: Transformers Age of Extinction 

Bay ……….
I decided to get this pick out of the way because, let’s be honest; you all know why it made this list. Everyone has seen the other Transformer movies, and everyone knows what is wrong with them. I’m not going to waste time talking about this; especially since everyone is going to be busy ranting about how this bad movie was bad in just a couple months. Next.

8: A Haunted House 2
It may say “A Haunted House 2” but really, this spot is for every dumb parody movie. You know, the ones that nobody goes to, but still make a ton of money. The ones that make everyone long for the days of Mel Brooks. So here’s to you A Haunted House 2 and Hungover Games, you made the number 8 spot.

7: Jupiter Ascending
I’m going to get some crap for this one, I can tell that already. Yes, The Wachowskis, fan boys continue to defend them to this very day and overhype any film with their name attached to it. But let’s be frank people, it’s been 15 years since they made a good movie. This film is going to have a lot of hype going into, until it comes out and everything will suddenly go silent. Just like all of their other films.

6: 300 Rise of an Empire

I didn’t get the hype for the first film. It was a dumb, cheesy, poorly directed action movie that took itself way to seriously. This looks like it will be more of the same.

5: Paranormal Activity 5
And while we’re at it …..

4:Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
People, stop going to these movies. I don’t care if you only go to them to riff on them, they are made at such a low budget that every ticket sale counts. Found footage is a lazy way to make a profit. Sure, every once and a while we get a good one, but these films are not it. They are not scary. They have never been scary. They will never be scary. If you want good horror movies, this subgenre of horror needs to die first. So please, stop holding the genre back.

3: Mr. Peabody and Sherman
When I first saw the trailer for this one, I thought it was from a new studio with a relatively low budget. I almost did a spit take when I saw the Dreamworks logo. Dreamworks, the company whose animation is on the same level as Disney and Pixar. So why does the animation to this look 6 years out of date? I know the company has 2 other films coming out next year (one of which I will talk about next time) but this seems rushed. I’m hoping I’m wrong, and it’s just a bad trailer with unfinished animation, but I don’t have high hopes.

2: A Million Ways to Die In The West

I love westerns, but I hate Seth Macfarlane. I have no idea why people think he is funny; it’s just lost on me. It upsets me to no end that in a day were westerns are as rare as the genre has become, that one of the two coming out next year is in the charge of this man. The genre needs better than this. The genre deserves better than this. So please, if you want to see a funny western, watch Blazing Saddles.

1: Alien Mutant Ninja Turtles (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Bay …….
Megan Fox is April. I’m going to repeat that, Megan Fox is April. I …. I have no words. Don’t go to this. Not to riff on it. Not so you can post rant videos on youtube. If you want a good TMNT the only way to make that happen is to have this one bomb first. So save your ten bucks and go see one of the films on my next list. 

Until next time.

Coming Up: Klancy's Top Anticipated Films in 2014. You can read his post above this one. Unless you already did in which case SHAME ON YOU!